At an early age I realised that it’s not always a bad thing to go with your first instinct. I won’t go into the reasons here, nor the way I came to that conclusion. What I will say is that I wish I’d listened to my inner-8-year-old-self when I started down the thread of emails and Tweets you’re about to read.
Suffice is to say that I have learned my lesson!
The thread speaks for itself. Enjoy :)
From: Alwyn Soong
Date: Wednesday 23 Feb 2011 4.15 PM
To: OJ
Subject: fix my viewstate
Program has crashing on random times. Everything tried is not fix it.
PLEASE THIS IS URGENT ONE NOW.
All detail attached.
I ahve manager breathing down neck have two customer angry.
I look everywhere your blog is kindest help please thank.
Reward in heaven.
Al Soong
TheColonial
Third email like this in as many days. Perhaps if “reward in heaven” wasn’t written I may have helped. http://twitpic.com/42t2sj
TheColonial
Shame. All that was in the doc was a very blurry and hard to read image with a stack trace that I can’t read.
From: OJ
Date: Wednesday 23 Feb 2011 4.24 PM
To: Alwyn Soong
Subject: fix my viewstate
Sorry to hear of your issues. The image that you have sent me is extremely poor quality and I’m unable to read it.
Please send a screenshot as a PNG/JPG or just copy and paste the text into an email. Don’t use word.
OJ
From: Alwyn Soong
Date: Wednesday 23 Feb 2011 4.17 PM
To: OJ
Subject: fix my viewstate
happen AGAIN!
> Program has crashing on random times. Everything tried is not fix it.
> PLEASE THIS IS URGENT ONE NOW.
> All detail attached.
> I ahve manager breathing down neck have two customer angry.
> I look everywhere your blog is kindest help please thank.
> Reward in heaven.
> Al Soong
From: Alwyn Soong
Date: Wednesday 23 Feb 2011 4.30 PM
To: OJ
Subject: fix my viewstate
Uninstalling word now. what next?
rbanks54
ROFLMAO!!! That’s priceless. The next step is to tell him to pack his pc in a box because he’s not qualified to use it
DamonOehlman
@TheColonial OK, that is awesomely funny. Admittedly you did tell him not to use word :)
TheColonial
@DamonOehlman if someone told you to not use your oven to make ice cream would your rip the oven out of the wall? :-D
DamianM
@TheColonial HAHAHA That’s awesome! Maybe you tell him he needs to close his windows, his screen will go blank and he’ll stop bothering you
From: OJ
Date: Wednesday 23 Feb 2011 4.34 PM
To: Alwyn Soong
Subject: fix my viewstate
Don’t uninstall word. I’m asking you to send me the stack trace in a form that I can read!
Just paste the text of the error into an email directly
OJ
From: Alwyn Soong
Date: Wednesday 23 Feb 2011 9.30 PM
To: OJ
Subject: fix my viewstate
Thank you. You are right! Even uninstall word cannot fix of the site.
My normal word is the linux. I cannot find to send you the stack trace in a form. What form is it?
The citrix not allow cuts and paste. Do you FAX or SKYPE? I read you message.
This to:
Program Location: at Microsoft.SqlServer.Management.DataTools.Interop.IDTDocTool.Save(Object dsRef, String path, Boolean okToOverwrite) at Microsoft.SqlServer.Management.UI.VSIntegration.Editors.VsDataDesignerNode.Save(VSSAVEFLAGS dwSave, String strSilentSaveAsName, IVsUIShell pIVsUIShell, IntPtr punkDocDataIntPtr, String& strMkDocumentNew, Int32& pfCanceled)
HURRY PLEASE
Reward in heaven.
Al Soong
***************************************************************************************************
***Blessed be the Lord who has given rest to his people Israel, according to all that he***
***promised. Not one word has failed of all his good promise, which he spoke by Moses his***
***servant. ***
***************************************************************************************************
From: OJ
Date: Wednesday 23 Feb 2011 10.56 PM
To: Alwyn Soong
Subject: fix my viewstate
Alwyn,
Make sure you read what I am saying, and read it properly. I never once told you to uninstall Word, I just told you not to use it to send me the details of your issue.
Citrix shouldn’t stop you from copying and pasting, but if it does, take a screenshot like you did before and open “Paint”. you should find it in the “accessories menu”. when you’ve opened paint, paste the screenshot in there, and save the image as a jpg, png or bmp. Then attach that to an email and send it to me.
Sorry, but I am not giving out fax or skype details. Trust me, you’re getting way more out of this than you deserve.
OJ
From: Alwyn Soong
Date: Thursday 24 Feb 2011 7.30 AM
To: OJ
Subject: fix my viewstate
HURRY PLEASE. WE GO LIVE IN 20 MINUTES.
Maybe you look at site yourself and see error please. it is here http://127.0.0.1:8081/mailout/
Click the MAILOUT button then CHURCH NEWS. Wait for OUTLOOK LOADING stop the blink. Type the MESSAGE for the people and click the GO SEND.
you to can getting more out of this than you deserve. My company is biggest oil 2nd company in singapore. please to send CV and we keep you remember if new opening. I have email of you will KEEP.
In heaven please the angels felate you.
Al Soong
12:1 Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, 2 looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.
From: Alwyn Soong
Date: Thursday 24 Feb 2011 8.29 AM
To: OJ
Subject: fix my viewstate
Is a windows 32 64
From: Alwyn Soong
Date: Thursday 24 Feb 2011 10.15 AM
To: Lingli Farhat
Cc: OJ
Subject: Re: UPDATE PLEASE
10 MORE MINUTES and ALL fixed then good friend OJ fixing. Say HI! boardroom.
> subject: UPDATE PLEASE
> Thursday, 24 February, 2011 12:11 AM
> From: Lingli Farhat
> To: alwyn soong
> AN UPDATE PLEASE ALWYN.
>
> WE ARE WAITING FOR YOUR GRACIOUS PRESENCE IN THE BOARD ROOM AND WISH TO HEAR ONLY HAPPY NEWS.
>
> OUR PATIENCE IS CERTAINLY TESTED THIS HOUR.
>
> No one has ever seen God; if we love one another, God abides in us and his love is perfected in us.
>
> Free POP3 Email from www.gawab.com
> Sign up NOW and get your account @gawab.com!!
From: Lingli Farhat
Date: Thursday 24 Feb 2011 10.49 AM
To: Alwyn Soong
Cc: OJ
Subject: RE: re: UPDATE PLEASE
TIME IS MOST CERTAINLY “UP” ALWYN.
I HAVE LOOKED AGAIN AND THE EXPLORER IS STILL EMPTY http://127.0.0.1:8081/mailout/
I WILL SEE YOU AND YOUR “OJ” FRIEND IN MY OFFICE BEFORE TODAY IS “UP”
FATHER LINGLI FARHAT
OFFICE OF THE MINISTER
The thoughts of the wicked are an abomination to the Lord, but gracious words are pure.
From: Alwyn Soong
Date: Thursday 24 Feb 2011 11.01 AM
To: OJ
Cc: Lingli Farhat
Subject: RE: re: UPDATE PLEASE
OJ good frien please in dark hour. I HAVE THE VIEWSTATE! I HAVE IT! THIS IS HERE
Took all day to copy out
QSBqb2tlJ3Mgbm90IGEgam9rZSB1bnRpbCBpdCBnb2VzICp0b28qIGZhci4NCkxvdHMgb2YgbG92
ZQ0KTGVvbg0Kd2l0aCBoZWxwIGZyb20gUmh5cyBhbmQgSm9lbC4NCkFsc28gQkNDJ2QgLS0gSm9z
ZXBoLg==
If you read it for me I get OUT from hair. Expertschange sayt BASE64?????
Reward in heaven
Al Soong
CHIEF ENGINEER
************************************************************************************************************
***22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, ***
***23 gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. ***
************************************************************************************************************
The garbled text above, when base 64 decoded reads:
A joke's not a joke until it goes *too* far. Lots of love Leon with help from Rhys and Joel. Also BCC'd -- Joseph.
TheColonial
I’ve just been absolutely owned by some soon to be ex-friends :) Great prank.. you utter, utter bastards :)
From: Alwyn Soong
Date: Thursday 24 Feb 2011 11.11 AM
To: OJ
Subject: ERLANG
Now i learn erlang.
You teach me please.
What first?
From: OJ
Date: Thursday 24 Feb 2011 11.56 AM
To: Alwyn Soong
Subject: RE: ERLANG
sure.. start with this:
1self() ! bullet.
Leon, Rhys, Joel and to a point Joseph: you’ve started a war!
Well played :)